Lust, Love, Longing, Language

I cry in your remembrance, my friend
I lust for you, for the depth of you,
for the smile of you and the deep promise of loss
inside the eyes of you
You have made me feel special and sentient
with a simple question, and I exploded within myself
into a thousand glittering butterflies.
Oh, how I long for you, my friend...
This intensity breathes in me, for me, without me,
it speaks for me to the friends that hear it,
but to you, my friend, it sings in silence.
How I wish to seduce you, to make myself visible to you...
I could spend hours running the lines of you
underneath my fingers. To learn you is to give you pleasure,
and I wish for nothing more than to give you pleasure,
to make you exhale and reverberate in sound, like a guitar...
The sensation of you feeling through my caresses, how I wish
for this to happen.
To learn you, the geography and mindscape of you...
I am filled with electricity, coursing through me,
and all I want is to leave that imprint on your skin, on your bed,
on everything you wear.
I long so deeply for you, my dear friend...

Back to being haunted

Volto a pensar nos namorados a sério, nas tentativas de relacionamento que ficaram, por algum motivo ou por outro, goradas. Volto a pensar nos homens que já amei e de quem apenas gostei ou, regrettably, de quem tive pena. Fiz mal a alguns deles. Alguns deles fizeram-me mal. O normal, afinal. Somos todos estúpidos, por algum motivo ou por outro, ou por outro ainda. Gostava de dar um beijo a todos, calmamente e pela última vez, segurando-lhes o rosto. I can't take my eyes off you. I can't take my eyes off you. I can't take my eyes off you. I can't take my eyes off you...

You know it won't be easy... it's never easy...

... Like the strongest storm, it comes brewing up inside of me. The song begins and I'm there, in the middle of the floor, ready to execute all those off-balance steps, all those stretched arms and arched back, like a Dyonisiac virgin in iniciatic pleasure.
... The guitar... it's my body calling. The bass makes the cloud, the rain, the dark night happen. I just need to let go and dance... the rain falls mercilessly against the windows and inside this room, I dance... and I feel you... you come inside, drenched from your night drive... you stand there at the threshold, watching, a dripping face, a trembling body, and yearning eyes...
... There's no feeling like this - to feel you without having seen you yet, to know your presence because my spine tingles... when will all this happen?
... Who are you?? You who live in my mind and most intimate desire, so much so that you've become not only my lover, but my best friend as well. You're the same man I approach by the moonlit baywindow, as the light changes and the storm approaches...
... I now feel the lightning and thunder. The ever-present rain. I approach your half naked body, I'm wearing nothing but your white shirt, lit from behind by the warm fire... come, let me run my fingers on your skin lightly, wake you in a shiver from your meditation, come dance with me...
... And so you, and I, and we begin again.

... I have yet to know who you are, lover... I have yet to learn your geography, to swim in your eyes, to taste your kiss and skin, to know how it feels when you hold me and spread the flame upon both our bodies. I have yet to know the touch of life and death through you...

... Come then, lover, out of the mists of moon and time, out of the blinding angle of sunlight, that I may see you... I wish but to recognise you and be in your presence, for I know the day and night and twilight of future memories will come and make me flow out of myself, as soon as I merge into you, soul into soul, in one outbreath of Love.

... Come, that I may see you. I shall dance then, to that ever hypnotising guitar...

Think... Italo-american gangsta... ;-)

I want...

I want to want someone but not need them.
I want to hope but not fear.
I want to let myself be without letting myself go.
I want to feel ‘hello’ without pre-sensing the ‘goodbye’.
I want to not be depended on, but be counted on everytime.
I want to discover step by step, not fully understand from moment one.
I want to be amazed, but not overwhelmed. Inspired but not stagelight-blinded.
I want to love someone on my own terms.
I want to be fascinated and adoring freely, because whatever happens, I hope but don’t fear.
I want to find meaning, speak meaning, hear meaning, build meaning and dream meaning.
I want to sleep over but go back to my place.
I want to rush in your direction but not crash. To be held in your arms but not supported.
I want to be able to be spontaneous and express it, knowing I’ll not be considered scary or dependent.
I want to write letters that speak a thousand feelings in one sentence, not a thousand sentences for one impending feeling.

I want to love.